Forgiving the Unforgivable

Blame Shuts Down Peace of Mind.

Participating in the human experience means dealing with others who will desire to hurt, anger and betray us. 

The ability to forgive small annoyances up to catastrophic treachery is of essence, because we are only psychologically healthy to the degree that we can forgive.   

Realizing that we are not perfect either, let us just assume for a few minutes that we are ...  

Blame and his twisted sister Revenge, will hurt you more than them.

The inability to forgive past events keeps us in a state of non-completion and that is co-dependent, causing us to travel through life with bitter brakes on. 

For many years I truly believed that people who were able to hide their feelings and emotions were strong and admirable, so tried very hard to become one of them.  I felt after the inane punishments that these kind of people mete out to others for showing emotions, that my sensitivity was indeed an impediment, so the early rejection by those "strong" ones was a proof of this weakness.

What a dreadful misconception.  Emotionless humans are NOT normal.

People who hide their emotions and feeling are mostly Actors who use learned techniques to suppress them, but just like stuffing a dead cat under a carpet, emotions and feelings do not go away, they remain as mental and cellular memories that fester and grow, to be released as "Unconscious Feedback" through verbal outbursts, violent behaviors, addictive dependencies, or physical and mental illness.

Some however were born without, or have lost (had broken), their Human Conscience, making it difficult to grasp intuitive concepts, sizing up life only with pleasure and pain.

Blame for a Day, For a Year,  or the Rest of Your Miserable Life.

Some of us have experienced devastation and cruelty as children and adults, betrayed by the actions of those we relied upon for love and self-concepts. Some experiences were so horrific, they do not deserve forgiveness morally or legally, but to release our brakes completely forgiveness must be a major definite purpose.

When we have been a victim to treachery, it is easy to gain personal power from wearing the badge of a champion survivor for a while, but due to the Laws of Attraction, taking on a Victim Personality will attract other victims into our lives and keep us stuck in the Victim Cycle, regurgitating our story, until we (and those around us) become tired of it.

Sometimes the person to be acquitted is our self, for actions or behaviors we cannot forgive, with unbearable consequences to our psyche ... be grateful for your guilt and regret, because your human conscience is working.  If you were a sociopath, you would not care at all.

Blame Generates Extreme Negative Emotions.

When we attempt to suppress our emotions, we shallow our breathing which in turn slows oxygen intake into our blood stream.  Lack of oxygen in blood lowers the electrical magnetism that our neurons and cells use to communicate with each other.  Cells begin to falter, and the result is body and mind illness. 

Clasp your fist tightly for a few minutes to see what happens. The hand will start going white due to lack of blood flow, it will lose feeling and if left this way permanently, would wither and die.  Negative Emotions and Feelings have the same effect on our body, which is why negative emotions left unchecked result in bodily illness. Cellular Memory is where we may have long forgotten or suppressed an incident in our mind, but unconscious feedback produces emotions and feelings to certain situations. "My Father had an unfortunate sense of humor. He loved to tease and torment us when we were too young to understand.  As a result, I still can't stand sarcastic people."  Whether we are aware of them or not, these unconscious processes play key roles in our decision making.

The Subconscious Cannot Tell the Difference Between a Real or Imagined Thought

Just as with computers our experiences are recorded in intricate detail into the data-banks of our mind. Data is stored as an intellectual, emotional and cellular memory.  Reprogramming Meditation Techniques (also known as Autosuggestion and Self Hypnosis) are the way we can revisit old realities to re-program existing data with a new script, modifying the event and the impact upon our psyche.

Reprogramming Meditation Techniques

Hans was a Jewish gentleman in his mid 80's, who had been a child in the 2nd World War. His demeanor could be described as obscure and frail to others, but throughout the program session he had recalled how his Father had angrily shut him into a small closet, a terrifying experience for a 6 year old boy, locked in the dark alone for many hours. This event had a devastating impact on his life and personality in many ways.

Hans used the Forgiveness Meditation to firstly forgive his Father for his actions, reconnecting with the fact that the action had been taken in love and concern, to hide him from German Soldiers who were seeking out the Jewish populace.

Hans then used the Inner Child Meditation to revisit the memory of being locked in the closet as a child, getting in touch with the emotions and feelings of fear of the time, then following himself into the closet as an adult, to comfort, nurture and explain to the little boy what was happening and why.  Like taping over an old video with a new script he reprogrammed the incident into a new set of circumstances, it was uncanny how this instantly changed his life. 

Rewriting The Script Through Reason 

Two Reprogramming Meditations are available on this site as examples for you to use, but do not hesitate to write out and record your own meditations in your own voice.

Start by using your Journal to identify all the people in your life that you still have blame present, this usually includes parents, guardians, siblings, teachers, friends, lovers and work associates.  Then journal the troubled experiences you had as a child or adult.   

The next step is to intellectualize the reasons for the actions of those we blame. 

Ascertain the Reason then Forgiveness and Freedom will be yours. 

There is always a Reason for why humans are the way they are and for what they do to each other.   Even for the worst betrayal and atrocities there is a reason for that action or behavior,  even if psychopathy and illness, possibly caused by their own suffering in the past (cruelty, violence, sexual depravity, and psychological torture sit here).  

Acknowledging the reason will assist you to forgive and gain freedom.   

You are not required to rekindle any relationship and neither should forgiveness stop you from taking any legal action if is necessary.  

 Link: Forgiveness Meditation (Best listened to with Earphones)