The Past > The Present < The Future
Think for a moment, where do you spend most of your conscious time?
Brain Drama? technology, work, global news, relationships, weight loss, illness, money matters, worry. Brain Candy? social media, soaps, movies, games, playing.
It's All In The Head
The art of Being Present is an ability to be "aware" in the moment.
Being aware allows us to take charge of the Brain Drama and Brain Candy that can alter our reality and reactions to life. Ultimately, we take charge of our own Brain Washing.
Most of us are rarely present to what is happening in the "moment". We are driven by our routines and relationships, responding in a knee jerk fashion to the good and bad events around us. Many of us are unaware of this "sleep" or how we will judge a situation at hand by comparing it to a good or bad experience of the past (unconscious feedback) ... then committing the reaction to a perceived future (be it better or worse).
Limiting Belief Systems That Hold Us Back
"I am hopeless with money ..."
"I'm not good with people" ...
"I'll never learn this" ...
"I am nobody without a relationship" ...
Limiting Beliefs are fake facts that we make real.
Conscious and Unconscious Reactions
Completion is the ability to be aware of and see beyond, our own "Conscious" (i.e. the ones we know about) and "Unconscious" (the ones we don't know about) reactions and behaviors towards our life, that make us the person we are.
Completion is also known as "Getting Present” and to do this we must understand the workings of our mind and memory a little.
Most of our "unconscious" reactions and behaviors were learned "experientially” in childhood, like Mike ...
He Hated Women Who Wore Spectacles
Mike, a successful financial executive, once confided to me that he had a problem with women who wore spectacles. He didn't trust them, had never trusted them as far as he could remember, but didn't know why.
Mike's unconscious reactions had been abruptly brought to his attention when a woman, whom he had turned down a promotion to, abrasively pointed out that his entire department was filled with women who did not wear spectacles and that she had been warned to wear contact lenses if she hoped to move upward.
Mike nearly choked on his coffee to be told something so absurd, but after mentioning it to a few other members of staff, it seemed his bias was a well-known nuance. When he thought about it, yes, he did distrust women who wore spectacles, particularly the dark thick kind!
Mike put it down to a body language 'thing’ but he was baffled to understand why he still felt the distrust.
Upon conducting the Completion Exercise Mike uncovered the unconscious reasons for his "prejudice".
"Mike recalled an incident at around 5 years of age where a girl child (who wore large dark thick spectacles) staked claim to a piece of his prized artwork. Mike had made the usual toddler fuss, in fact he mused it was probably an all-out tantrum, but he was humiliatingly reprimanded for stealing and removed from the class by a female teacher - who also wore large dark spectacles."
Mike was embarrassed to admit that he could still feel the pain of the injustice and it never occurred something so far back could still affect his life. During the Completion Exercise Mike recalled three more childhood and teenage injustices that further cemented his distrust of women who wore spectacles.
Kids Believe Everything They Experience
A child does not gain the ability of self-reasoning until around the age of 13-14, therefore a child's basic self-concept and belief systems are programmed into them, like robots and computers, from their experiences and the realities of those around them.
The majority of parental child raising 'realities' were handed down from previous generations to be merged with a good deal of trial and error and the fashionable society beliefs of the day.
Personalities are formed and fragmented in childhood and the effects of our upbringing show up in the ways we handle fear, stress and conflict.
Consider for a moment your own programming.
What role did your parents or guardians, your teachers, your religion and community play in who you are today? What belief's, fears and barriers did you bring with you into adulthood as a result of your upbringing? How did this affect your present-day relationships with human beings, achievement and money?
Here is a simple exercise that demonstrates how the past affects who we are today.
a. Write down three traits you admired in each of your parents or guardians and then write three things you disliked about those same people.
b. Now look into your own personality and compare which attitudes and attributes showed up in your life.
c. How did their influence shape your ability to conduct loving relationships, business relationships, manage money and build self-esteem? What did you decide you were good at, what you would never be good at and where did you rebel by taking on exact opposite traits?
The Inner Child
Very few people come through childhood without trauma or misconceptions to be completed with, which is why some teachers call Completion "Inner Child" work.
"Unconscious issues" are recognized by the negative emotions that they bring with them and when you can be "plugged in" by another human being or a situation, that is the sign that you have unconscious elements operating in your life.
Little wonder children raised by families who have been subject to generations of wars and atrocities carry the fear and fighting into their own adulthood.
Completing The Past for A Powerful Future
Completion is finalizing the past and bringing any unfinished business into the present, so that we may eliminate any unconscious effects on our future. This is how we turn off the "brakes" to our future achievement.
The Completion Exercise involves looking back into our life, as far as possible, to identify the various experiences that made us who we are. Some find that they are unable to remember further back than a certain age, no matter, please go back as far as you can.
The Completion Exercise is important to the results of this program. The Exercise requires one good session of between one to three hours for unlocking the early memory banks, then 15 to 30 minutes each day for 7 consecutive days to focus your mind on new thoughts
The Completion Exercise.
Take your journal to a place that you will not be disturbed and where possible have some quiet relaxing music playing in the background.
Completion Step 1. Recall
Go back into your memory as far back as you can and seek out key memories and instances that will pop into your mind. Journal in point form anything that you can remember, good and bad, for evaluating in the next step.
Completion Step 2. Evaluate
Return to each memory in turn and journal the incident in as much detail as possible ...
(a) what happened, where, how, why and who was involved
(b) what did you feel then (fears, blames, joy etc)
Completion Step 3. Identify
Now discover the effects of the past on your present and future.
(c) what belief systems, attitudes and traits did you take on as a result of this experience?
(a) what are the disadvantages of this experience in your life then and now? How will the results continue to affect your life in the future?
(b) what are the benefits of this experience in your life then and now? and how will the results affect your life in the future?
Completion Step 4. Complete
(a) what feelings of pain, anger or injustice remain to be dealt with after this exercise? Who can you not forgive?
That concludes this extract on "Completion".
Let us now move to the Second Factor of Achievement INTERDEPENDENCE