Pauline Douglas Inner Quest

Pauline Douglas Inne​​​​​r Quest


The 6th Factor of ​​Achievement

The Banishment of Suffering
"Willpower" is romantically considered to be the ultimate proof of emotional strength. We often associate "Willpower" with a certain level of martyrdom or suffering that entails championing over a dreaded task, deed or relationship.  

The Sixth Factor of Achievement


The Misuse of Willpower

In truth, willpower is mostly used to maintain suffering.  Good examples would be remaining in a job or relationship that does not bring happiness.  In these instances personal integrity is often sacrificed to satisfy a perceived inward or outward influence.

"What would my family think" or, "How would I survive?"

Human beings tend to fool themselves that their martyrdom will in some way produce divine rewards for all that misery,  but in reality,  emotional turmoil and eventual illness will be the only reward.

The Mirror of Life - Story

Jenny was dealing with what many of us must deal with from time to time, a problematic relationship at work. 
No matter what dialogues Jenny would open with the other female, agreement could never be reached and a domination match would result.  

Jenny would find herself involved in any number of controlling scenarios ranging from direct confrontation to confusing silent treatments. 

Jenny found that the situation was becoming all consuming. She could not sleep at night and was now reluctant to go to the office each day for fear of a confrontation. Jenny was also fearful of what others might be saying behind her back.  Jenny thought she was exercising every bit of her Willpower to stay in the job, because what she really felt like, was fleeing for her life. 

This "other" woman was, in Jenny's mind, making her life totally miserable.  "She is attempting to undermine me in the office.  I am powerless to stop her because I am not good in confrontation.  I feel helpless and inferior."

Only  We  Are Responsible for How We Think or Feel

Jenny had noted through this program that there was no such thing as one-way domination and that her "feelings" and "reactions" of blame were an intuitive signal to deal with an unconscious issue within herself.

Jenny also realized that she was the only person in the office who reacted to this woman in this way, another sign that this was likely a personal issue.

Stepping Out of Our Comfort Zone to See the Truth

Jenny called upon her True Willpower to look honestly at her own reactions, as well as those of the other female. Completion meant looking into her own past to identify where she first learned to react in this fashion.

"My Mother undermined me all the time when I was a child, it was like walking on eggshells, she never seemed happy or proud of anything I did.  If I spoke I was told to be quiet.  I often felt helpless and inferior. I am 56 years old now and Mother still treats me in the same manner. I still have the same internalized hurt but as she is my Mother, I just accept it."

Jenny knew she was not going to be able to change her Mother, nor gain any righteous satisfaction by punishing her with words and actions for her way of being.   The only option to gain peace would be to find forgiveness.

Forgiveness arrived after researching and acknowledging the inconceivable tragedies and cruelty that her Mother had experienced as a child throughout the war.  The devastating psychological scars had led to her Mothers dysfunctionality and her inability to love and nurture.   

The next step now was to detach from the co-worker’s behavior.

Jenny asked herself what dominating tactics she used to retaliate and the penny dropped.

"Oh, No! I do exactly the same as my Mother!  I show complete contempt by ignoring this woman!"

Having now detached from the "dramatics",  Jenny was able to see the situation clearly and realized that her colleague was dealing with many personal difficulties outside of work including a divorce.

Jenny identified that she had been so consumed with her own blame and emotions, that she had not even considered entertaining compassion.

Blame vanished and so did Jenny's fear of going into the office.

Disarmed of her former dominating retaliation, "as if by magic" the other females' demeanor also altered, within days the confrontation ended.

Suffering Only Exists As A Concept In The Mind

"True Willpower" recognizes that there is no such thing as a trial or tribulation, only thoughts in the mind of the bearer.

"True Willpower" provides us with the opportunity to take the necessary actions to modify our thought processes to move away from suffering forever.

"Willpower" demonstrates that there is ONLY personal reaction to be considered and not the words or behaviors of others. The secret is observing and evaluating our own reactions and not making ourselves or anyone else wrong.

"True Willpower" permits everything to be just as it is, without forcible resistance. The more we fight to be rid of a pain, negative emotions, or unwanted personal traits, the more we will reinforce them.

Negative emotions are merely a series of feelings that have been increased by resistance or denial about an unconscious issue that requires our attention.

Willpower Is Never A Victim.

Imagine how powerful a life free of inner or outer turmoil could be.  "Willpower" is just that!  "True Willpower" gives us the power to overcome the "Fear of Success" and the "Fear of Failure".

The "Laws of Attraction" state that we only attract circumstances that have lessons to be learned for our benefit.

Relationships are not accidental and particularly the more difficult ones are the opportunity to identify the mirror of what we cannot accept about our own personality.

To summarize this extract, take up your journal and consider your own levels of personal Willpower.

Journal Time

The Willpower Exercise.

Time to take up your journal and ask yourself these life changing questions:

Question 1: If you dared to live a life that you truly loved - what changes would you make?

Question 2: Where do you use Willpower to remain stuck in any situation?

Question 3: Are you prepared to do whatever it takes, to be free of outer control and gain inner harmony?

Let us now move to the Seventh Factor of Achievement: INTUITION 

  • Forgiveness
  • Unplugging
  • Reactions
  • Personalities
  • Awareness
  • Self Improvement
  • Motivational
  • Psycho Dynamics
  • Leadership
  • Inner Child
  • Empowerment
  • Awareness
  • Achievement
  • Inner Quest
  • Psycho Dynamics

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